TINY SHIFTS

Thiessen, a couples therapist, presents a collection of essays about successful relationship practices in this nonfiction guide.

The author calls this work a “distillation of insights gleaned while observing couples turn their relationship challenges into meaningful, satisfying connection.” Each essay contemplates a different aspect of the complexity of “relating intimately.” Thiessen recommends reading the book with a partner to optimize its efficacy (the guidance is meant to be applied to monogamous romantic relationships). The essays are grouped into 11 categories by topic, including the foundations of relationships, change, connection, maintenance, and, deemed “most important” by the author, conversation. Each essay concludes with a “CONSIDER THIS” section providing practical advice to couples seeking to put the information into practice. For example, in the section on personal differences among partners, Thiessen challenges readers to “Treat your thoughts as you would treat someone you’ve just met...be curious and be cautious.” One of the book’s most engaging attributes is its practicality—readers can take clearly defined steps to work on themselves and their relationships while making their way through the pages. The author makes the text accessible with casual, easy-to-read language, steering clear of dense therapy jargon. In a lead-in to what could be an intimidating section on self-conception, Thiessen begins by stating, “you have a relationship with yourself in much the same way you have a relationship with someone else”; instead of diving into a complicated clinical discussion, Thiessen introduces the idea with a relatable analogy. This engaging approach is characteristic of his writing style, which only adds to the book’s effectiveness. While the guide proceeds from the premise that its readers are in monogamous relationships, it does not assume heterosexuality—the couples used as examples include several same-sex unions, underscoring the book’s accessibility. One quibble: The font is stylized in the body text and in the “CONSIDER THIS” sections, which may make the text more difficult to read for some. Aside from this minor concern, Thiessen has crafted an excellent guide to successful relationships.

An engaging and accessible handbook for romantic partnerships.