IF YOU'RE IN MY OFFICE, IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE

A divorce lawyer imparts his unique perspective on successful relationships.

Manhattan trial lawyer Sexton, who has “facilitated the demise” of more than 1,000 failed marriages, shares his wisdom in a guidebook focused on what to avoid when attempting to sustain a marriage. Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions, the book isn’t meant to rescue those marriages “past saving.” Rather, the author seeks to teach those in flourishing relationships about the potholes and obstacles to avoid as time progresses. Sexton’s enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship “slippage,” and that stinging realization that “what’s fun when you’re dating is a pain in the ass when you’re married.” Particularly eye-opening are chapters on the dangers of harboring unrealistic expectations and assumptions of your mate and thoughts on how to argue more effectively. Sexton explores these conundrums and more through the anecdotes of real couples who have unfortunately (and often acrimoniously) come to the end of their time together. The author often has to remind his clients that he is no one’s moral compass but rather a professional necessity to mitigate their marriage termination, swiftly and amicably. That’s the goal, yet divorce is a many-edged sword, Sexton writes, a grim, multipronged tool of closure that can incorporate bitterness, animosity, jealousy, finances, children, and egos. The author insists there are no hacks to a good marriage, and even though it’s hard work, proactive communication and maintaining a connection to your mate are key. Though a divorce of his own has taught him well, Sexton remarkably retains “faith in the power of love” and believes in stemming the tide of marital collapse with consistent communication and frank honesty.

Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships.