TIMEFALL

Confusing, often daft fantasy action-adventure from the author of novelizations of the movies Return of the Jedi and Poltergeist. Returning from the jungles of South America, Lon Sanger brings his paleontologist friend Joshua Green a mysterious, sealed stone box--which proves to contain a jeweled, fossilized human skull 75 million years old! Not only that, but when a light is shone through one of the skull's emerald eyes, a map is projected. So Lon, Joshua, and assorted friends organize an expedition to go and investigate. They discover a lost city peopled by folk who believe Joshua is one of their gods returned. The natives, however, are keen on human sacrifice, so Joshua and company must flee into the nearby labyrinth of tunnels. Eventually they end up in a vast, sealed underground chamber guarded by a giant jello-creature--and find an ancient female robot waiting to deliver all sorts of explanations, both far-fetched and half-baked, about the nature of time, how it is about to collapse, and what Joshua and company must do to prevent it. Clearly, this one belongs to the absurdist school, but has neither the charm and excitement of the old pulp masters nor the humor of more recent practitioners such as Terry Pratchett and Richard A. Lupoff. Baloney.