SAIL WITH THE TIDE

A father grieves the loss of his son to addiction in this memoir and guidebook for parents.

Stewart writes that, shortly after the death of his son, Joshua, “[he] blamed [him]self for not having noticed the signs he was moving toward addiction…[he] missed the subtle messages—the longing, the loneliness, the desperation.” In this raw memoir, the author aims to impart advice from his own experiences to other parents like himself—parents who deeply love their children but are often overwhelmed in their own busy lives, or who are the parents of adult children with whom they’ve lost a connection. Poignantly, Stewart discusses his belief that his own tendencies toward codependency made him “of little use to [Joshua] or [his] other children.” While sharing Joshua’s story, which includes an early marriage and divorce before the young man even finished college, the author also provides practical tips for recognizing the ways in which addiction first develops and steps to take once the problem is identified. (An entire chapter is devoted to a data-informed commentary on manageable steps to improve the mental health opportunities offered by rehab facilities.) Beyond its warnings to other parents about the signs associated with addiction, the book is also a celebration of Joshua’s life and the happiness he brought to his loved ones despite his inner demons. The text includes original poetry written by Joshua and chapters reflecting on Joshua’s loving spirit written by his sister and children, among others. “You were my hero and best friend as a little girl,” his daughter writes in a tribute; “my sunrise and my joy at the start of every day.” The book’s title refers to a line tattooed on Joshua’s arm that reflected his love of pirate history and his laidback, go-with-the-flow approach to life. The author’s intimate prose is accompanied by a wealth of family photos that reflect the book’s deeply personal approach. While Stewart emphasizes that he is “not writing this work from an expert’s point of view,” the work includes a multipage set of references.

A powerful, informative cautionary tale and love letter from a father to a son.