A lengthy, unfunny, purportedly comic novel, with billboard characters and noisy situations too broad for satire, and neither pointed nor witty enough for burlesque. It all has to do, in a crowded, haphazard way, with a blockbuster wedding and its fallout, and the coming of Sex and Beauty to a fat teen-ager. Career woman sexy Marvella is about to marry young Kevin, whose sex drive does wonderful things to her middle-aged constitution. Her pal, sexy Letitia, tries to talk her out of it, but the wedding spectacular, costumed and amphitheater-style, is underway. Big news is the entrance of Marvella's 17-year-old daughter, Bwana (Marvella's ex has a flair for names--their 16-year-old wimp of a son is named ""Dyslexia""). Bwana, who'd vibrated at the thought of Ma's sex with Kevin, had gone into a trance, eaten nothing for days, and now she's gorgeous. Also at the wedding: Marvella's ex, to whom Letitia takes a liking; a Mafia hood who finds a son he'd never known about; a jock coach; a macho motorcyclist; and a Big Time Publisher who hopes to publish Bwana's Trance Diet. It all ends, blessedly, with the satisfying end to a hostage situation when Dyslexia draws a bead on Bwana and Marvella's Indian secretary, while the rest of the principals plan strategy at the foot of a cliff. A mâ€šlange of strained comic ideas--the sort of thing put together at a pajama party.