THE BATTERED BODY

A cooking-show diva is canceled.

Soon after Paulette Martine sashays into tiny Quincy’s Gap, Va., to bake the wedding cake for her sister Milla, the Diva of Dough has offended everyone with her highfalutin ways. That’s par for the course, according to her harassed assistant Willow. When Paulette is found beneath gobs of cake batter, nobody cares, not even her favorite child, Chase, who’s due to inherit her estate, or her verbally abused daughter Chloe, who’s in line for absolutely nothing, unless of course Chase dies, as he does promptly and spectacularly when his car flies off the cliff from which his mother’s ashes were to be dispersed. Milla’s future son-in-law, town librarian James, and his amateur detective pals (Chili Con Corpses, 2008, etc.) spend a lot of time discussing the lack of clues and suspects with no alibis or motives, but even more time consuming snacks from the local diner, bakery and food shop, as well as casseroles they bring to the tables to sustain themselves in between. Then James’s ex-wife Jane returns to town with a big surprise for her former husband: a four-year-old son she says is his. Besotted, the new daddy still finds time to tease out a few leads to who killed the irascible Paulette and her act-alike son before he settles down in a new house with a handsomely painted bedroom for his son.

As wholesome as macaroni and cheese and about as exciting. Includes several high-calorie recipes (not tested).