A self-help book for couples that combines compassionate psychiatric advice with references to Mick Jagger, Frankie Lymon and The Teenagers, Smokey Robinson, Mozart, Shakespeare and Mark Twain. Betcher believes it takes a certain amount of work to be able to play together well. He also believes that playing together is vital for happy couples who want to remain that way. By ""play,"" Betcher means a sense of playfulness, a sense of humor--things like private jokes and pet names. It's this light touch that can let your partner know he or she is understood and accepted. Play can defuse an argument and help you cope with fears and anxieties. It is intimate play that ""fosters mature relationships in which tenderness, passion, and muted hostility can coexist."" Betcher uses frequent examples of couples who fashion play in their own style: leaving each other notes about cleaning the bathroom written in Victorian English (when one partner is an English literature buff), and making ""dates"" with your spouse when career and family demands have usurped too much time. Betcher stays away from the psychologically ponderous and keeps his tone light: ""One of the qualities that people look for in a relationship is the freedom to express normally suppressed behavior. If you're involved with an ax murderer, this could be a problem."" Aimed at those who want to enrich what they've already got, it'll make a nice valentine.