THE STRANGER WHO LOVES YOU

This self-help manual offers suggestions on how to improve intimacy and get past obstacles in romantic relationships.

In her debut, Warble provides 12 short chapters on such relationship topics as courtship, children, disagreement, illness, and staying together through tough times. Her expertise consists of “two past marriages to draw from and a long-term relationship.” The early chapters discuss ways to get one’s relationship back on track through simple techniques, such as employing gentle, nonsexual touch; softly smiling; and making kind gestures, such as greeting one’s partner at the door when he or she returns from work. Compromise, sharing, and teamwork should become habitual, the author says, and later chapters discuss how to smoothly run a household with one’s partner. Warble recommends that child care decisions be unanimous, and she talks about ways to handle arguments, household organization, and other stresses. The book also addresses more serious problems, such as depression. She ends by recommending that partners “stick together, and you will love life.” Warble doesn’t break any new ground here, but she does offer time-honored advice, such as “listen to your heart,” “make a budget,” or “put yourself in the other person’s shoes.” Her tone is encouraging and warm throughout. She addresses both gay and straight relationships, although she appears to frames her advice around ostensibly feminine and masculine roles. Some readers may find the author’s suggestions to be helpful starting points, but they may become frustrated if they don’t have the quick success that Warble promises (“These little things have a huge impact. You will soon see your partner smiling!”). Also, the section on depression seems contradictory, stating, “Remember, he or she can’t help [depression]; it’s a chemical reaction in the brain” as well as “I’ve heard it said that we can choose to be happy.” The book includes no sources or suggestions for further reading, except one: “Anything you have questions about will be in the Bible."

A sincere but superficial treatment of a complex subject.