In this sci-fi debut, an alien species hopes to claim Earth, but the invaders haven’t fully researched what goes bump in the night.
At NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, astrophysicist Jean-François receives some exciting data in the middle of the night. His theory that an interstellar vessel has been using wormholes to visit Earth for the last 50 years now seems irrefutable. Yet his boss, Raymond Saticoy, wants physical proof of aliens before telling the president. Meanwhile, President Michael Addison greases palms at a fundraiser at the Watergate Hotel. With him are the lovely first lady, Laurel, and his no-nonsense vice president, Peyton Willis. What neither politician realizes, however, is that Laurel slays vampires on the side, doing her best to clear Washington, D.C., of bloodsuckers. Her nemesis is Julius, a nearly 3,000-year-old vamp who tonight has chosen the sweet young Mary to feast upon. They leave a bar in southeast Georgia and stroll toward the Heartsoot Creek Cemetery. When he finally pops his fangs into her neck, her true form of a “bug-eyed, insect-like creature” stands revealed. She escapes through a wormhole, leaving Julius speechless. And what does any of this craziness have to do with AWOL Pvt. Johnny Kester? By the time Johnny witnesses a nearby military base explode, Abugov has readers firmly in the grip of his absurd, satisfying creaturefest. Fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer should adore Laurel, and those cringing at the current state of the world may chuckle when Addison says, “I got all these nukes. Such a pity I can’t use them.” As the aliens attack, causing quick, massive casualties, Willis tells the nation, “There are no countries anymore. Just us, and them.” The author maximizes the carnage when alien goop infects people, turning them into the walking dead. Dinosaurs, appearing in only brief interludes except at the finale, prove the ultimate narrative wild card. The most engaging aspect of this gonzo mashup is seeing which characters rise to the occasion and which end up with their “vital digestive organs” yanked free.
A chaotic, full-throttle parody that’s as smart as it is slimy.