ISD: Inhibited Sexual Desire

Sex therapists Knopf and Seiler wait_until the last third of this book to present their do-it-yourself regimen for sexually dysfunctioning couples. The eminently skippable first 180 pages revolve around the sexual woes of a handful of couples and the all-too-obvious causes of ""inhibited sexual desire"": mismatched sex drives, pressure of dual careers, fear of failure or of intimacy, and so on. The author's sex-rekindling program requires much pencil-work and a number of specific ""exercises."" To improve the relationship, each partner lists relationship goals, with mutually acceptable goals established through amiable negotiation: She wants sex whenever the urge strikes; he wants less pressure to perform; they compromise on three or four times a month. Exercises include ""caring days"": on alternate days one partner does at least four ego-boosting things for the other, such as hugs, love notes, a special meal, etc. Sensuality is beefed up by self-stimulation and mutual stimulation exercises and by ""sexual caring days,"" during which one partner provides a specific sexual or intimate act at the other's request. The authors claim a 70% success rate with patients. Readers, too, may profit from the regimen--providing they survive the many pages of psychodrama leading up to its presentation.