Greenwald's new book scores a notch or two above the general run of ""pop psych"" works. Rather than exhorting us to seek mt by, say, indulging in open marriage, the author, a Gestalt therapist, suggests that we look to a more old-fashioned, exclusive and intimate relationship with one other person. He believes that intimacy with oneself (recognition and acceptance of one's capabilities, likes, dislikes, needs, desires) is essential for intimacy with another; intimacy with another depends on commitment and exclusivity, coupled with recognition of the other's essential separateness. Greenwald rather summarily classifies persons and behaviors as either toxic (rigid, inhibiting, deceptive) or nourishing (tolerant, open, honestly expressive). There are even checklists for determining the relative toxicity of one's attitude toward oneself and one's ""Intimate Other""--who must also be a predisposed reader.