MISSING CHARLIE

A woman magically cursed with premature aging gets her groove back courtesy of a sexy mystery man in this fantasy romance.

Nona May Taylor is a 23-year-old woman trapped in an 83-year-old body for the last five years thanks to a curse placed on her by Rebecca Delanore, a witch. Rebecca stole Nona’s face, form, and voice along with her flourishing career as a folk singer. Nona is holed up in a remote Montana cabin with her relatives and manager, who were turned into talking animals by Rebecca’s spell. Her mother, Penny, and stepfather, Wally, are a hen and a hog; her sister, Bridget, and brother-in-law, Jack, are a fox and a rabbit; and her manager, Fritz, is a ferret. With her feeble strength, woozy balance, and blurred eyesight, Nona provides for everyone by hunting game with her shotgun, chopping firewood, and whipping up gourmet meals of fresh venison and huckleberry sauce, with Penny contributing eggs. When a huge snowfall blocks the roads, they come upon an injured hiker named Charlie Brown. Nona is instantly smitten by his 20-something good looks, insinuating charm, and guitar chops and by his habit of singing Nona’s old songs, including her hit “Missing Charlie.” The two spend an evening in intimate, flirty conversation despite their apparent 60-year age gap, and Nona wakes to find herself looking and feeling decades younger, with her senses restored and brunette streaks in her silver hair. As things heat up and she continues to de-age, she and her hopeful menagerie suspect that Charlie may be able to lift the curse by bringing true love to Nona—until she realizes he is not what he seems. Hardy’s distaff version of “Beauty and the Beast” treats its magical themes with a light touch and prose that’s witty and sparkling. (Nona: “What the hell was that thing you wore to the Grammys? Looked like Bridge here ate a wedding dress and a bag of skittles and barfed it up all over you.” Rebecca: “As if you’d know anything about current fashion, Grizzly Adams.”) The cute critters are not kid friendly thanks to their bawdy repartee and sex scenes that take on kinky overtones in a passage in which they regain their human forms for one night of pent-up passion. The result is a blithely captivating but very adult Disney story.

An entertaining, warmhearted yarn about love that persists through extreme transmogrifications.