MOTHERHOOD COMES NATURALLY (AND OTHER VICIOUS LIES)

A humorous treatment of the joys (and miseries) of motherhood.

Every parent has heard many of the countless axioms of child-rearing: Motherhood comes naturally; pets make children more responsible; it's just a phase; etc. Smokler (Confessions of a Scary Mommy, 2012) turns these ideas upside down, offering readers a more honest, sarcastic take on what parenting is really all about. Whether covered in vomit, dealing with persistent urination issues, or being kicked and bruised, the author finds the humor in parenting. Her own children, other children and her husband all come under scrutiny as she pokes fun at such things as the phases kids should never outgrow (being easy-to-please, having sweet breath and believing mommy is always right) and the ones they should get rid of as quickly as possible: the know-it-all, the nonstop question of why. Smokler covers a variety of topics, from trips to the mall and vacations to sleeping, peeing in private and being a stay-at-home mom. She will help you decide when to throw away that cute macaroni necklace that "your precious child painstakingly threaded…with his bare hands! Look at that color composition—look at that sense of style! It's a masterpiece, and you are the luckiest mommy in the world." She also eulogizes her pre-mom body: “we remember those perky breasts previously so full of life and promise, now sucked dry of all hope and ambition. They know their days of usefulness are numbered, and we know it, too." Funny sidebars emphasize key points in each chapter.

A tongue-in-cheek look at being a mom.