The Last Place You Look

A self-help guide explores how to find the right partner for a long-term relationship, regardless of age, persuasion, or circumstance.

This debut book by McCoy, a Massachusetts life coach, aims to assist those in search of a loving relationship who find the prospect of dating intimidating or discouraging. The book is divided into five chapters, each of which focuses on a simple premise, such as “Find Your Motivation” and “Screw The Date: Just Relate.” Deliberately avoiding an emphasis on seduction and game playing, the volume places a greater weight on self-knowledge and self-confidence. The opening sections strongly stress putting oneself in the right frame of mind to be open to and excited about dating, often a hurdle in itself. Throughout, the author highlights the importance of approaching relationships with an open mind, encouraging readers to dispense with preconceived notions of their ideal mates and instead shift their focus to character and rapport. For the introverted or gun-shy, the book is also peppered with clever alternatives to traditional dinner dates and online matchmaking services. Later sections encourage reflection on past or unsuccessful affairs as learning experiences, tools to bring one closer to a more suitable pairing. The ideas put forth in each chapter are supported by anecdotal accounts of real-life couples who successfully put these concepts into action in their own relationships. The candid work concludes with a concise summary of the ideas and advice outlined previously. The guide benefits from McCoy’s approachable, nonjudgmental writing style and in its ability to break down an unnerving process into small, manageable steps. While male/female pairings are the primary emphasis, the inclusion of LGBT and open relationships is notable and worthwhile. Throughout, the book takes a low-pressure approach, encouraging readers to take things at their own pace and enjoy the ride. Refreshingly, it makes getting back into the dating world seem like an exhilarating opportunity rather than a scary obligation.

A plainspoken, handy volume for anyone looking for love but daunted by dating.