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OLD COCK SYNDROME by Jim Towse

OLD COCK SYNDROME

Trouble in the Henhouse

by Jim Towse

Pub Date: Dec. 9th, 2011
ISBN: 978-1463626976
Publisher: CreateSpace

This is a rambling, mildly smutty memoir in the guise of an ersatz self-help manual for the aging human male afflicted with the book’s titular syndrome, filled to overflowing with lowbrow humor, seriously silly lists, obtuse recipes, and labored, non-PC rants about Sikhs, drugs and rock ’n’ roll—penned with obvious glee by a Canadian car salesman.

Old Cock Syndrome, the author informs readers, is a vile scourge affecting men of all races, ages, and religious and sexual orientations that arrives with one’s pubic hair and rages on relentlessly until death. OCS manifests itself differently in each sufferer—with quantifiable awfulness—and usually with a high degree of cultural bias and varying levels of societal tolerance. In a nutshell (or nut sack, perhaps) Towse’s account of OCS is really just a rehash of the received wisdom re boys being boys, etc. But he’s not apologizing: “Shitty male behaviour,” he states “is still shitty behaviour.” What follows is a series of often self-deprecatory anecdotes about his own life that more or less illustrate/justify the thesis, as well as more general notes about the male species and their funny foibles in and out of the proverbial henhouse. Underneath all the author’s chortling are some perfectly astute observations about politics (sexual and otherwise), the state of the world hither and yon, Ponzi schemers such as Fidel Castro’s brother Raul, sex addicts and chronic masturbators of all stripes, and the straight dope—as Towse sees it—about seriously afflicted OCS-suffering monsters such as Scott Peterson and Margaret Thatcher. Even The Donald gets no respect: “Wanting keeps the ego alive. Wanting more morphs in an addictive need.”

Best kept in the smallest room of the house under a picture of Rodney Dangerfield, that favorite old fuzzy woolen sock and a new prescription for Cialis.