SOMEWHERE I BELONG

An art historian pieces together her own family’s history in this memoir.

Employing skills acquired as a research scholar, the author investigates documents tracing the migration of her grandparents from Eastern Europe to South Africa, where she was born and grew up during apartheid. She ponders the mystery of why her paternal grandfather, Joseph, chose to live in the marshy “godforsaken” village of Rondevlei, and how he came to marry Bella in 1916 after years of celibacy. She then recounts her youth and the ever-growing awareness of her own privilege as the daughter of white parents. She also recalls her eagerness to violate racial dating taboos and the mounting danger as her hometown of Durban erupted in violence. Seeking a place of belonging, she stumbles through several romances and an ill-advised marriage while pursuing and then obtaining academic success. Upon moving to America, she finds herself at odds with her father, who conspires with her husband to nullify her claim to a substantial property. In the final two pages, Berelowitz describes her embrace of Jewish observance, which intensified following the events of October 7, 2023. Although she seems to give her late embrace of Talmudic teachings short shrift here, Berelowitz excels in probing the mysteries of family and place. Guided by the rabbinic concept of midrashim, in which narratives are constructed to explain gaps in biblical stories, Berelowitz finds unexpected meaning in the tribulations of her grandfather battling poverty and prejudice in Edwardian England and in her own early attempts to win the love of a distant, mean-spirited husband. The narrative is illuminated with moments of lyricism (“They have surfaced from the ocean of oblivion into which experience sinks”) and uncommon insight as she realizes she became an art historian because “I wanted to affiliate with other Jews negotiating their Jewish identity in a secular world.” More religious-minded readers might wish for further reflection on her own spiritual life, however.

A nuanced examination of race, privilege, apartheid, and the struggles of youth.