Without a trace of bashfulness, this slight tract is billed as being the work of ""the World's Greatest Salesman."" ""If you want to check me out,"" he says, ""take a look at the world's foremost authority, the Guinness Book of Worm Records."" Girard achieved his niche in that pantheon by becoming, as he crows ad nauseam, the NUMBER ONE RETAIL CAR AND TRUCK SALESMAN IN THE WORLD. He's sold over 12,000 of the things and last year earned more than $200,000 at it. How does he do it, and how can less-acclaimed salesmen do it too? Maintain elaborate prospect lists, he advises, and make plenty of cold telephone calls. Send lots of birthday cards. At sports events toss out business cards by the handful. It's even better, of course, if your smiling face appears on the cards. Employ ""birddogs"" like the good folks who send him buyers for $25 kickbacks. Don't outdress your customers. Keep hustling. After all, ""if you throw enough spaghetti against the wall, some of it has got to stick."" But remember, the average guy has about 250 friends. Treat him lousy and, by Girard's simple ""law,"" you've lost 250 more prospects. So make 'em like you. It's all ""belly to belly"" and quite artless. To make sure the point comes across, each short chapter concludes with an italicized punchline, very much like a sharp elbow in the ribs. And yet, if you get all the way through this cocky work, you may feel a mystifying urge to place an order with the author for a powder blue hard-top with all the options and easy financing.