SEX AND MONEY: The Adventures of a Stockbroker

Spottily amusing Wall Street war stories, loosely linked by the unoriginal theme that ""fear and greed dictate the fluctuations of the stock market."" Being a stockbroker, says Spooner, is an ""Alice-in-Wonderland business,"" a calling for the ""half crazed,"" where if you produce you can get away with anything (personal eccentricity, lavish expense-account entertainment) but success is ephemeral and anxiety abounds even in good times. (""In bull markets someone always has a hotter stock than you. It can drive you crazy."") But the cast of characters is colorful: Herbert the Big Hitter, whose hard sell is irresistible (""These two are clinchers: I got my dough in it; I want you to put your mother in it""); a broker who claims to get inside word on proposed takeovers by bedding the divorced daughters of corporate CEOs (""they're vulnerable. . . I trust this method""); and a securities analyst who often finds her insights at orgies (she once recommended a buy on Brooks Brothers' parent company after checking labels on the mens' discarded clothes). Most clients are what-have-you-done-for-me-lately types, with their own quirks (one chose Spooner to handle his account because he liked the way Spooner dressed in a TV appearance) but a general willingness to forgive a bad recommendation--""what they do not forgive is your giving them the impression that you are ignoring them."" Readers looking for investment-applications will be disappointed: aside from the occasional out-of-left-field observation (""near the end of every fad in the market someone hypes a stock located in California that sells for under five dollars a share""), Spooner sticks to generalities (""you want to get rich, you have to concentrate on value""). Chiefly for those in the business, who may even recognize some of the pseudonymous players.