PARENT POWER

Some practical tips for parents at wit's end--plus some distinctly controversial opinions (on learning disabilities, hyperactivity, and the gifted). Rosemond, a psychologist and syndicated newspaper columnist, takes a strong stand for parents' rights (complete with Bill thereof) and responsibilities (""You are the boss. For their sake""). A section on discipline elaborates on these principles, with ideas about making rules (clarity, reasonableness, and enforcement are the bywords); avoiding arguments (don't ask questions, don't lecture); and providing a framework within which freedom is possible (and don't be surprised when your limits are tested--it's the only way children will know they are there!). He gets a lot of mileage out of simple props like kitchen timers (set them to indicate bedtime, or how long you'll play with your four-year-old) and pasteboard tickets (to be used to buy privileges, but to be relinquished for specified bad behavior); he also offers reasonable suggestions on perennial problems like biting, bed-wetting, and lying. As for getting children to clean up their rooms, well, Rosemond let little Zeke out of his room for meals; but otherwise the method is the same--you can't come out till it's clean. Rosemond, however, views the trio of school-related problems as non-issues: learning disabilities can be seen as maturational differences, an artifact of educational yardsticks; ""yesterday's undisciplined brat is today's hyperactive child""; ""all God's chillun's gets gifts."" On matters of daily life and development, this guide could be helpful to foundering, traditionally-minded parents; on special issues, Rosemond's views are extreme, and should be tempered by considering other sources.