SOMETHING FOR NOTHING

Sixteen-year-old community-college freshman Zachary Taylor Burnross narrates this bizarre tale about the time a mysterious, seven-foot-tall man named Xavier, who sports a Superman-like costume, arrives in Balona, Calif., and promises its gullible, eccentric and mostly uneducated residents free diplomas for their life experiences. As Xavier woos the Daughters of the Delta social group and Zachary informally interviews residents as possible university recruits, the small town’s rifts and gossip are revealed. With the help of Malcolm Mus, a talking mouse/reporter, the perpetually naïve teen discovers that Xavier is a slave to an alien who is actually “extracting” a price for the free diplomas. Despite shining moments of wry humor, likable Zachary’s touching need to be loved by his aging father and Xavier’s struggle to leave the business, the over-the-top story and stylized voice will often leave readers puzzled. Even the intended audience is unclear, with a young-looking cover and a talking mouse combined with Zachary’s “Psychology and Your Sex Life” community-college course and references to masturbation, marijuana and S&M. (Fantasy. 13 & up)