FIGHT LESS, WIN MORE

Business strategists and consultants discuss the value of negotiating in this self-help book.

“Whether you realize it or not,” Smith and Gaunt write in the book’s introduction, “your day is a series of negotiations.” While often associated with high-level business transactions and hostage situations, the art of negotiation (defined here as “any interaction where someone wants or needs something”), per the authors, is skill applicable to all facets of one’s daily life. At the heart of their project is the concept of “Tactical Empathy,” or a “calibrated application of emotional intelligence to recognize and express the perspective of your counterpart.” Building an empathetic relationship with one’s counterpart (be it a spouse, employer, business rival, or even a toddler) ensures that they will be more likely to be in “collaborative state of mind instead of a combative one” when time comes for negotiation. Grounding their theories in practical applications, Smith and Gaunt provide detailed examples and case studies to demonstrate their negotiation tactics. The authors discuss the value of summarizing the circumstances from the perspective of another; expressing your understanding of their frustrations, concerns, or desires deliberately slows down the conversation and makes them “feel understood.” Smith and Gaunt outline low-stakes ways to practice the skill of paraphrasing, such as summarizing podcasts, meetings, or family conversations. Overall, the work makes a convincing case that negotiation skills are not just useful for business, but are fundamental “life skills.” Both authors have expertise in training both corporate and law enforcement negotiators, and they provide ample real-world examples from their own experiences. Smith and Gaunt currently work with the Black Swan Group, a firm that offers negotiation consulting services and training. With a forward by the organization’s CEO, Chris Voss, the book occasionally reads like an extended advertisement for Black Swan’s training materials, replete with references and QR code links to additional books and training materials.

A convincingly argued, if overly self-promotional, case for the value of negotiation skills in everyday life.