Love, Lust and the Longing for God

In his seventh book, Saint Rain (4 Tools of Emotional Healing, 2012, etc.) aims to help readers reconsider what they’re searching for in a loving relationship.

Relationships fail because we look for emotional and physical attraction, the author writes, but if we train ourselves to look for virtues we admire, we can develop better, more intimate connections. The book contains three parts, each previously published as books, and the first focuses on the connection, and disconnect, between emotions and virtues. The author argues that people have a hard time teasing out what their own emotions mean and end up in relationships that have shame, fear and neediness at their core. The solution, Saint Rain writes in the second part, is to heal oneself before looking for that next relationship; by using honesty, forgiveness, compassion and faith, one can take a sobering look at one’s own life and complete oneself. Only then, in part three, does the author suggest that readers start training themselves to recognize virtues in others and to seek out a relationship. At first glance, this self-help book seems by the numbers, but what Saint Rain offers is a thorough demonstration of how emotions act in the background of one’s life. It’s easy to dismiss the idea that shame or fear lurks in one’s relationship, but the author shows the subtlety of these emotions by using analogies and examples from popular culture, such as princess-themed movies and other popular love stories. Despite all this emotional dissection, however, the author’s tone remains friendly and conversational, and although the title suggests strong religious overtones, the author only incrementally weaves in ideas of spirituality, drawing strong connections between life and God without alienating readers.

An introspective plan for those looking to break the cycle of failed relationships.