THRIVE

Bhaskar, a certified life coach, shares her painful, personal story of escaping domestic violence and imparts the lessons she learned to help readers overcome adversity.

The author describes herself as “a born optimist, fun-loving, adventurous, and full of life” who grew up in a loving, harmonious home in New Delhi. As an adult, she submitted to an arranged marriage with a man she barely knew. He revealed himself to be a violent man who was given to alcohol-fueled rages, Bhaskar writes; one brutal assault, she says, almost caused her to miscarry their first child. The author fled to her parents’ home but soon returned to her seemingly remorseful husband—a cycle that repeated over many years as their daughter and twin sons grew. Due to constant anxiety while living with her husband and his family, Bhaskar experienced intense depression and anxiety: “I couldn’t cope with three kids and a handicapped fourth child, as I thought of my husband, who only made demands of me and did nothing to help,” she writes. An offer of a job as a human-resources professional and a move to Upstate New York gave Bhaskar financial independence, and eventually she divorced her spouse. As her children established their own adult lives, she began to rediscover herself. The book concludes with a happy family gathering and Bhaskar’s assertion that “Belief in self + belief in the Universe + belief in spirituality = nirvana.” Interwoven throughout the memoir is the author’s advice for others in toxic relationships. Each chapter includes “Deep Insight” questions, “Call[s] to Action,” and “Key Transformational Takeaways” that turn anecdotes into replicable strategies.

Bhaskar bravely depicts her struggle to survive and how she ultimately embraces her identity as “a tigress, determined to create a future for my children and myself that was no longer ruled by fear or control.” Throughout, she dispenses timeless lessons about healthy relationships, such as “love doesn’t demand you erase yourself to preserve it.” The book also gently nudges readers to recognize abuse early: “A first act of aggression is not an accident, it’s a message,” and “Patterns matter more than promises.” Bhaskar imparts wisdom such as how to spot the “halo effect,” to refuse false hope, to interpret feelings as data, and to set boundaries as an act of self-respect. The book’s actionable advice includes keeping a “Red Flag Journal” and creating a “Support Map” of people and things that help one feel safe and facilitate healing. However, the way that the book tackles two genres simultaneously makes for a fragmented reading experience. Readers seeking a riveting true story of a domestic-violence survivor may find that the self-help tips interrupt the narrative flow, while those looking for advice may have less interest in the memoiristic sections. Still, she effectively invites readers to cultivate compassionate awareness of self-defeating patterns with writing prompts, such as “Journal about a time when something felt off in your relationship, but you silenced your intuition.”

A harrowing memoir and self-help book about post-traumatic growth that tries to do too much in a single volume.