GENTLE COMFORTS

Management consultant Paris presents a guidebook on coping with grief.

In this book, the author shares advice, journal prompts, and recipes that comforted her after her husband of 25 years died in 2018 from lung cancer. “We all deserve to be well-cared for, especially as we deal with the loss of our beloved,” she writes. Regarding the early days of grieving, Paris offers do’s(go outside, take a nap, cry, or ask for help) and don’ts (don’t make financial or housing decisions, drive if you’re “feeling unsure about it,” or try to please others). She advises readers to write down memories of their beloved, and she offers tips to ease insomnia, such as drinking a cup of chamomile tea. Paris also encourages gentle forms of physical movement, such as tai chi and yoga, and explores the disorientation and denial that’s common in “grief fog,” which may require reality checks from a friend or therapist. Other topics include dealing with the beloved’s belongings, reclaiming confidence, and managing money. The book also includes keen insights, such as the fact that recipes are often written to serve two people; Paris suggests sharing the second serving with a friend or freezing it for later. Her own reciperepertoire includes healthy foods, such as yogurt smoothies; savory meals, including fish fillets; and not-too-sweet treats, like blueberry cobbler. Paris’ gentle tone throughout this self-help book is like that of a longtime best friend. Her advice is simple yet effective; for example, she offers the useful tip to get two baskets for mail—one for bills and the other for personal correspondence—so that one can more easily attend to business matters (or ask a family member to do so) and reserve other kinds of mail for when one feels more capable of responding. Paris also doesn’t shy from addressing sensitive issues, including “dark thoughts” that may appear after a loved one’s passing. Although the author’s intended audience is female(she begins each chapter with “Dear Sisters”), her advice will be useful to grieving people of any gender.

A soothing, practical how-to for the grief process.