MAINLINE MAMA

Learning to navigate the prison system in the name of love unexpectedly taught a woman how to value herself.

At 14, Harris dreamed of attending a prestigious Black college, becoming a doctor, and living a perfect life with an equally educated Black man. Instead, she fell in love with Jason, a Mexican American gang member who fathered Harris’ first child, then went to prison to serve a 20-year sentence for carjacking, all before he turned 18. Harris pledged to stand by Jason until he was released, without fully understanding what that vow would entail for her as a single “mainline mama” committed to loving a man behind prison walls. With searing honesty, the author reveals how maintaining her connection to Jason forced her to submit to an implacable system that punished inmates and loved ones alike. Jason was state property that could be moved at will; as his partner and eventual wife, Harris was a “criminal” by association and subject to harsh rules governing all forms of interaction. Over time, the author learned to work around the obstacles of loving—and trying to maintain a weekly visiting schedule with—an imprisoned partner by befriending other women who faced the same predicament. But as Harris forged a path to a better life in a world Jason could not access, she also became painfully aware of his limitations and her own need to escape the “prison” of a toxic relationship. Unflinching in its indictment of prisons, this book is also a celebration of female resilience and courage in the face of a penal system meant to break—rather than reform—the lives of incarcerated people and their families.

An engrossing memoir about resisting carceral dehumanization through community, connection, and self-love.