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KEEP YOUR PANTS ON by Kelly Chicas


Preventing Infidelity in Your Marriage

by Kelly Chicas

Pub Date: July 14th, 2011
ISBN: 978-0615437255
Publisher: Albuquerque Family Counseling

In her debut nonfiction title, Chicas explores the causes, conditions and self-help countermeasures to marital infidelity.

With a clear voice and the practical approach of an experienced therapist, Chicas reviews the current state of infidelity in marriage. Rather than coping with the painful aftermath of adultery, her focus is on recognizing and responding to the warning signs of cheating—essentially knowing how to prevent the pain and consequences of an affair before it begins. Based upon her professional experience with real-life couples, Chicas explores the critical role of awareness in a marriage: the awareness of fear in a relationship that may masquerade as anger; of environmental and technological influences; of the inevitable life changes that can alter perspectives and the important recognition of readers’ and their spouses’ needs. Her goal is to highlight the causational relationship between pain and pleasure, all while attempting to provide practical tools for decision-making when faced with the specter of infidelity. According to Chicas, the choice is clear: give in to the morass of dishonesty and guilty pleasure involved in an illicit relationship or take the necessary steps that will result in the joy of an honest, long-term, committed relationship. In an easy-to-read style, Chicas references examples of real-life couples learning through therapy how to recognize that a relationship in trouble; yet she also suggests strategies to navigate the rocky waters of a marriage post-infidelity. She investigates, without reprimand, the motivations that can result in infidelity. She’s upfront about her belief that cheating doesn’t happen spur-of-the-moment but rather as the result of long-term neglect and “very specific motivations, environments, and behaviors that went unchecked for a long time.” Thus, the most effective step is prevention over repair.

With an impressive degree of specificity and direction for a book that might be considered brief for such an intense topic, Chicas offers solid insight and valuable preventative measures.