IS THAT A MOOSE IN YOUR POCKET?

City girl meets cowboy.

Actually, Bruce Mortensen is an EPA agent, not a cowboy—what a surprise. Sophisticated Jennifer Brenner pretty much thought anyone from Montana wuz bull-doggin’ steers when not drinkin’ and two-steppin’ at the honkytonk. Another big aha! moment: that swaggering, rugged, blue-jeans-and-scuffed-boots look is sexy—so long as there’s a brain somewhere in the mix. Which Bruce has. But will she ever forget the suave, impeccably dressed bond trader she loved and lost to a predatory blond? For a while, Jen even made do with gorgeous, gay, impeccably dressed best friend Robert O’Hanlon. Hey, that’s San Francisco for you—but where, oh where, are the real men? To make a long story short, a Montana newspaper needed a reporter—yep, a plain old pencil-and-notepad reporter—and off she went. Culture shock? Not for our Jen. Just about all of her upscale pals show up to continue their self-absorbed gab, discuss her romantic prospects, recover from doomed affairs, and catch up on old times. Back to the plot: a paper mill has been dumping horrible chemicals into pristine streams. What if the trout grow two heads? Hell, what if the locals grow two heads? They’ll be able to drink more anyway—is that why so few people seem to care about this burning environmental issue? Jen and Bruce join forces, and, yeah, fall in love. Sort of. He’s got issues, like any divorced guy, plus a young daughter. Make that a jealous young daughter. And when an evil paper company VP kidnaps the little girl and demands ransom money to pay his gambling debts, Bruce is suddenly so not paying attention to Jen.

Contrived plot, unfunny style, and cast of thousands do little for this tame romance, Green’s first.