YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

A woman hits a tipping point in her life and has to fight to save herself and her family.

Annie’s mother was a Vietnam War refugee; her trauma response took the form of hoarding, and although she worked hard, there was never enough food on the table. So when Annie makes it to the Rhode Island School of Design and meets the wealthy, sandy-haired Duncan Shaw, she’s all too happy to be taken care of. Fast forward more than 15 years to where the novel opens: Annie and Duncan are married and have a daughter. When her mother dies, Annie finds herself struggling to stay afloat: Her daughter seems to hate her; her husband is always working; her art career is stalled; and her OCD symptoms, partly inherited from her mother and long dormant, begin once again invading her life. Sleep brings nightmares from a long-ago car accident and dreams of her mother, always accusing her of doing terrible things. Then her husband and daughter both leave for the summer, and her compulsive behavior only worsens. When her art patron disappears and is then found murdered, Annie becomes a person of interest—particularly because she has started to suffer blackouts and can’t defend her innocence. Is someone blackmailing her? Is she responsible for this violent death, and maybe others? Nguyen intersperses Annie’s present-day narrative with flashbacks to her childhood and early life with Duncan, and cuts to a scene in a hotel that happens at an unspecified time. These layers add complexity, and occasionally confusion, to the timeline. The descriptions of Annie’s OCD— which takes the particular form of paranoia about germs, dirt, and contamination—and her struggles to control it are particularly visceral. It’s not entertainment, this exploration of generational trauma and mental illness, and it’s not exactly a domestic thriller, either. But there is healing to be had in the journey and the ending.

Not an easy read, but it’s worth it to see this flawed human grow.