This is for all those right-living beings who nightly align each shoe with sock fixed within, who fold washcloths into congruent squares after use, and who wouldn't miss TV showings of that Mr. Belvedere movie in which Clifton Webb so very rightly dumps cereal on a chaotic infant -- the slobs of course will delight in this for other reasons. Take for example the care extended to the ballistics of milk toast in which one paragraph is devoted to sugar alone: ""The sugar should be in its own bowl, along with the sugar spoon (larger than a teaspoon, smaller than a tablespoon), not a soup spoon -- but a Regular Sugar Spoon. . ."" and so on as strategy is brilliantly pursued. There are also directions for consuming an ice cream cone, which in its newborn state is ""still dangerous -- still, so to speak, 'live' . . . First revolve the cone through the full 360 degrees. . .""; organizational methods for a family picnic (""For an ETD -- Estimated Time of Departure -- of 1300 you'll Want to begin the countdown at noon""); and guides to adjusting the TV, setting an alarm clock, ashtray care, and even ""How to be Kindly,"" to outfox those who link kindliness with sloth. Proceed in an orderly fashion to the nearest library or bookstore with the intent of perusing this refreshingly original and funny onslaught on messy living. It brightens a rather dim season in literary humor.