HOW TO BE DEAD

In this novel, a woman finds the afterlife surprisingly frustrating.

At the beginning of Schmidt’s tale, Frances Beacon, “the best-selling author of Sex, Drugs and Social Security, who proudly declared that she’d live to be 100,” has one careless moment on Madison Avenue in New York City. She is wiped out by a taxicab 35 years ahead of her own schedule. Frances has never been against aging, but she’s always been bitterly opposed to “olding”—“blurting out your ailments to total strangers. Voluntarily segregating yourself in geezer ghettos with bad food, bad role models, and bad vibes.” Now, all such questions are suddenly moot. She finds herself in an astonishingly mundane afterlife, being guided through her new reality by a “Transitional Trauma Specialist” named Grayson, who describes himself as “part guide, part counselor. Compassionate probation officer with a little concierge thrown in for good measure.” Frances enrolls in the University of the Afterlife in order to learn the ins and outs of her new world, which features a lot of honest soul-searching but also great helpings of exactly the kinds of small-minded sexism she thought she’d left behind on Earth. And since it’s not in her nature to yield to the status quo, Frances soon becomes what one character calls “a one-woman rebellion.” Schmidt writes all of this good absurdist fun with unflagging energy, a surprising amount of life wisdom smuggled in among the satire, and, most of all, a consistently sharp, comedic ear—this is a very amusing novel. The author also delivers a moving story with an intriguing protagonist who recognizes her shortcomings. At one point, Frances confesses: “I’m not nearly as nice as I seem or seemed. You wouldn’t believe the crap I’d say about people waiting in the TSA line, but only in my head.” Readers will be rooting for Frances, flaws and all, from the first page.

An unexpectedly touching, laugh-out-loud afterlife adventure.