CONQUER THE PLANET

A pseudonymous author presents a satirical guidebook for world domination.

“For those who are ruthless and cunning enough,” writes the author in this parody’s opening lines, “this handbook will lay the groundwork necessary to oversee a global empire.” Written under the aristocratic pen name “Sir Lawrence McAlister,” the book is reminiscent of C.S. Lewis’ classic The Screwtape Letters (1943) as a satirical commentary on contemporary life told from the perspective of a megalomaniac. McAlister’s guidebook is dedicated to like-minded tyrants, and the author’s observations offer a scathing critique of 21st century politics, culture, and society. McAlister highlights the ways that elites can use rhetorical mantras to convince average people (derisively referred to as “peasants” throughout) to believe paradoxical ideas that serve the interests of elites, such as the notion that “peace can only be achieved through war.” Another chapter connects the modern day “corporate peasant farm” to feudalism and other forms of human enslavement dating back to ancient Egypt. The satire is particularly critical of modern technology and culture, arguing that smartphones, entertainment media, and public schools help instill “invisible shackles and chains” on the public. As the frequent digs at public education indicate, the book’s politics are generally libertarian (if nonpartisan) in their critiques of government agencies, burdensome tax codes, and surveillance culture. The author critiques the state government of Utah for finding “amusing and creative ways to bilk your peasants” via an additional sales tax on sexually explicit businesses; another passage argues that elites promote the idea of “sex for pleasure” in order to lower the “moral standards” of the populace. While the book’s critiques are well-informed and backed by footnotes, the cynical outlook offers a litany of criticism without providing avenues for meaningful change. Still, for those willing to “embark on the often dark, yet exciting journey that is human conquest,” McAlister more than succeeds in chronicling the ways in which political, economic, and social elites manipulate and control average citizens.

A scathing satire of contemporary society.