The title says it all in this fatuous first novel by Australian ex-fashion editor Tulloch. A young nobody becomes somebody in trendy downtown Manhattan, largely because she communicates telepathically with her fabulous retro frocks. Reality Nirvana Tuttle, 21, has nothing in common with her hippie name or her hippie mother. Her most fabulous frocks date from the early Sixties and the vinyl part of the 70's--and her idea of empowerment is being a "doorwhore" at the Less Is More Club, one of the fashion clubs dotting the East Village. She lets only fabulous people in--meaning they have just the right retro look when she stages an event like "Woman Whose Lipstick I'd Most Like to Borrow." The axe falls, however, when Reality turns away Jackie O. because she looks like a nobody. So Reality and her cross-dressing next-door neighbor Freddie decide to open their own club in their tiny adjoining apartments--and celebrity is guaranteed when social-reporter Hugo Faulk hears Reality berating her friend for crushing the feelings of a dress. Faulk follows Reality around, and she treats him to her own superficial version of Steppenwolf's hall of mirrors--her closet is full of many different frocks, each with its own personality. Faulk writes about her as a "fabulous nobody," and suddenly she is somebody. Her tiny club, the Closet, is so fashionable it gets robbed--and Faulk wins over Reality when he gets back her beloved frocks. A stylish non-book. Tulloch gives us a surreal view of the East Village, enlarging the retro-fashion set until they seem to suck all the air--and all the interesting thoughts--out of the world. Some fabulous lines, really, but not worth reading.