NPE*

A DNA test reveals a surprise about a woman’s parentage.

The title of this blend of memoir and self-help guide is an acronym from the world of genealogy and genetics. A “non-paternity event” describes an individual whose biological father turns out to be someone other than the person listed on the birth certificate. Hay became an NPE when a commercial DNA test revealed that her biological father was her mother’s employer, a family friend she had grown up calling Uncle Tom. (His name, like most in the book, is a pseudonym.) The discovery stunned the author, who began reaching out to her half siblings and reevaluating her childhood memories. The volume moves between Hay’s account of coming to terms with a new understanding of herself and her somewhat dysfunctional family and a broader look at unexpected paternity and how people can and should respond to it. The author shares anecdotes from other NPEs that offer a variety of perspectives as well as a glance at the historical construction of paternity and legitimacy. The book is full of advice for NPEs (do reach out to newly discovered relatives in writing rather than showing up on their doorsteps; avoid paying for expensive genealogy services while emotions are high) and their friends and families. The text is acronym-heavy—“I wrote this to convey support and offer help to an NPE regarding her BM (her BCF had passed away before her discovery)”—and could have used some editorial polishing. Still, Hay’s knowledge and enthusiasm for her subject are evident. The author is strongest in telling the story of her family and exploring the intense emotions triggered by her discovery. She describes her feelings in detail and assesses what was most helpful as she hunted for answers to her questions of identity and belonging. While other books take a more comprehensive approach to investigating commercial DNA testing and the growing number of paternity surprises, Hay’s work is best suited to serving as a guide to NPEs in search of an experienced voice of reassurance and support as they adapt to their new realities.

An insider’s impassioned, worthwhile look at the impact of the secrets revealed by DNA testing.