WHEN MY LOVE RETURNS FROM THE LADIES ROOM, WILL I BE TOO OLD TO CARE?

Another pablum-packed collection of columns from humorist Grizzard, author of My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun. This concoction of 100 pieces is less a collection of humor than an index of hackneyed opinions, handy reference for readers in search of a scintillating clichÉ or nicely turned stereotype. Grizzard's chapter headings pretty much give him away; under the section ""Women,"" for instance, we find short ditties about why the gals are such lousy drivers, and how come they're spending so much time shopping. When not trying your patience with the kind of trite observation that you thought disappeared 20 years ago, Grizzard is always good for sparkling social commentary. In ""Modern Life"" for instance, we discover that Colonel Khadafy is ""The No. I El Freako""; and in ""Other Thoughts,"" we're provided with a handy catalog of everyone Grizzard believes ought to be subjected to legislated drag testing. Alternately toothless and predictable, Grizzard excels at reciting dim, man-on-the-street complaints that, in more capable hands, might at least be outrageously rednecked. But though Grizzard claims to have stirred up controversy among feminists, gays, and others, it's hard to believe that anyone could feel threatened by anecdotes and observations that, though short, strain well beyond their capacity in a pasty prose style. Low-cal gruel with all witty preservatives removed--but perhaps fodder enough for die-hard Grizzard fans.