WHEN UNICORNS POOP

It’s hard to ignore bodily functions when they come with magical properties.

Ever wondered what unicorn poop is really like? No? For readers who have, a wide array of tears, snot, vomit, and other sundry yet sparkly effluents are stuffed into a single solitary tome. Following a predictable gross-then-adorable pattern, the text treats readers to answers to questions they probably never imagined asking: about what happens when a unicorn happens to sneeze (sparkly glitter falls from the sky), spit (chocolate syrup is sprayed on sundaes), fart (bubbles!), etc. The author, who self-identifies as a “recreational cryptozoologist,” does at least hold back on speculating on unicorn blood, urine, and pus, but this is small comfort when faced with the image of children of different skin tones frolicking in unicorn vomit (ribbons). Brightly colored, festive art does much to mitigate some of the book’s more stomach-turning implications, but when it comes to rainbow-colored poop, there’s only so much that one can do. Readers in the thrall of the disgusting will be rapt as they consider the implications of each new revelation. Readers looking for another cute unicorn book are probably best advised to avoid this one, though the mere presence of the sparkly beast may overcome all.

Lovers of all things repellent can consider this a sparkly, smelly present.