HONEST MOTHERHOOD

A Christian TikTok influencer grapples with motherhood while exploring complex childhood trauma.

Ward spent much of her early adulthood striving to be “normal.” After a tumultuous childhood involving housing instability, familial estrangement, and abusive father figures, she wanted a life that achieved the kind of easy perfection she thought she saw in other mothers at her church. Ward writes, “The church moms seemed wholly fulfilled by their children and the four walls of their homes. When I wasn’t, I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with me.” Ward’s attempts to be an exceptional mother to her two children spiraled her into burnout and depression. When she started seeing a therapist, Ward not only connected her adult behavior to her troubled childhood but also received a diagnosis of ADHD. Through her therapeutic journey, the author learns how to embrace anger, prioritize her needs, end her investment in perfectionism, and set boundaries with her mother, all while managing her husband’s new schedule as a police officer, her son’s “motor speech condition,” her hearing loss, and her transformation into a TikTok influencer who finds unexpected community online. Early on, Ward had thought TikTok was a dance. When she found out it was an app where one could see dances, she writes, “‘You shouldn’t go on there. It’s not safe,’ I said, hearing myself sound like a lecturing grandma.” At its core, the book is a vulnerable, insightful, and refreshing exploration of what it takes to become a good parent when you grow up with dysfunction. Perhaps most importantly, it’s an excellent resource for parents who are survivors of childhood abuse, providing vivid, relatable examples of both traumatic experiences and therapeutic struggles. The book spends a few chapters attempting to find its tone and pace, but, overall, this is a promising debut.

A frank memoir about becoming a good parent when yours fell short.