LINDA ALBERT'S ADVICE FOR COPING WITH KIDS

From Albert's syndicated columns: here-and-now guidance for parents who seek to increase their children's sense of responsibility. Three themes predominate: ""parents often make the mistake of paying extra attention to kids when they are misbehaving""; the use of ""natural or logical consequences is one of the most effective corrective techniques""; and ""never do for your child what he can do for himself."" Chapters on perennial parenting issues--meals, bedtimes, clothes, school, money, divorce and remarriage--elaborate on those themes within a question-and-answer structure (supplemented by clear expository sections and helpful summaries of points-to-remember, rather than lists of don'ts). Some of the questions illustrate fairly complex issues; few of the responses are simplistic. Thus, don't loan your child money if you are trying to teach her to be responsible about the use of her allowance (missing that Saturday night movie with her friends is a ""natural consequence'). If your child doesn't set the table, don't serve dinner; if you get lots of complaints about the lunches you pack, turn the task over to the kids. Though many of the suggestions will be difficult to implement for parents entrenched in a caregiving mode, the general tone and specific strategies will be welcomed by a wide spectrum of others.