A courageous and inspirational, if underdeveloped, account of a survivor’s odyssey.
A sexual abuse survivor discusses how repressed trauma affected her life and relationships in this memoir.
“I cannot help you if you want him back”—these were the words of Blakemore’s therapist when she disclosed her intentions to return to her domineering, self-centered partner. Throughout her life, the author, who worked in real estate, had been attracted to “dangerous” older men. Married to Tony and with four children, Blakemore had an affair with her boss—a turbulent relationship that, the author reveals, ended with him raping her. Blakemore reconciled with Tony but was soon captivated by Jack, a married property developer 14 years her senior. Jack, too, was manipulative and selfish, but Blakemore remained hypnotized. Jack and the author eventually divorced their spouses. After their engagement, she recounts that she experienced a dream that unlocked repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle. Blakemore began to understand the motives behind her damaging relationship choices. Meanwhile, Jack, whom the author married, was reticent in supporting her. At the moment their relationship was crumbling, he moved in with a male friend accused of possessing child pornography. Blakemore’s story is recalled with the aim of giving courage to others who have buried their history of abuse. Her approach to writing is fluidly conversational yet searingly frank: “Tony was kind and sensitive….He loved me, but none of that mattered. Jack’s flirtatiousness made me feel privileged.” The author doesn’t ask readers to condone her choices but rather to accompany her on her journey of self-understanding. Reflecting on her realization that past trauma had a serious impact on her adult life, she asserts: “It became clear that my trauma was not just the abuse. The part of my relationship with my uncle that had affected me just as much was the abandonment.” The memoir powerfully delineates how repressed memories of abuse can shape unhealthy relationships in adulthood. While this book will encourage others to follow Blakemore’s lead in seeking help to heal, it ends somewhat abruptly. Many readers will be disappointed not to discover more about the author’s post-Jack life along with more detailed reflections on her past experiences and actions. Insufficient attention is paid to unpacking how Blakemore’s healing allowed her to forge new, healthy relationships. This is a well-written work, but it could use more elaboration.
A courageous and inspirational, if underdeveloped, account of a survivor’s odyssey.Pub Date: N/A
ISBN: N/A
Page Count: 391
Publisher: LEONELLA PRESS
Review Posted Online: Oct. 6, 2021
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.
A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.
Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.
A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.Pub Date: July 12, 2022
ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2
Page Count: 192
Publisher: St. Martin's
Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.
The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.
According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy, which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.
A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023
ISBN: 9780063226562
Page Count: 256
Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins
Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023
SEEN & HEARD
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