GOD, THE DEVIL AND DIVORCE

A memoir recounts a difficult marriage and a woman’s subsequent empowerment through faith.

In 1972, 27-year-old Kurth was reeling from her first divorce in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She then met a man named Jim. There were early warning signs of their incompatibility, like his irrational and overly harsh reactions to food, but the two forged ahead in marriage. As Jim saw his engineering career expand, the author found work as a substitute teacher, a weaver, an interior designer, and eventually a writer. Despite their mutual joy as parents, Jim and Kurth’s marriage deteriorated slowly into increasingly bitter exchanges and signs of his disrespect. The couple eventually moved to California and then back to the author’s home state of Oregon, where they would build their dream home, dubbed “What-a-View.” But Jim’s pattern of unpredictable moods and lack of interest left Kurth wanting to be with a “real man, not like the grown child to whom” she was married. The author goes into vivid detail about every fight and counseling session before their 25-year marriage came to a slow and painful end, leaving the author to seek strength in her Christian faith as she built a new life for herself. Even though Jim’s individual aggressions are never more threatening than cruel reactions to an empty bag of nuts or offhand comments, Kurth delves deep into the emotional state of her household, creating an admirable portrait of how toxic atmospheres have real mental and physical consequences. Nonetheless, the book’s first section can be tedious—at times, it feels like a laundry list of Jim’s faults. More intriguing is the author’s post-divorce evolution on the Christian dating scene. Surrounded by other “beautiful, intelligent women of God” affected by bad marriages, Kurth embraced a range of conservative and liberal schools of Christian thought that will surely speak to readers also questioning what they really want.

While a distressing marriage takes center stage, this account offers refreshing takes on starting over.