THE WIZARD, THE WITCH AND TWO GIRLS FROM JERSEY

The Queen of Twilight, a nonexistent but in many ways familiar epic, is never the same after two teenagers squabbling over a copy fall into its pages. Bubble-headed teen-queen Heather Simms and class-brain Veronica Lopez find themselves reluctant allies as they’re pitched into a desperate struggle against said Queen, who’s out to plunge the world into eternal darkness. Veronica has already read the tale many times, but her calculations are thrown way off kilter almost immediately, as the newcomers manage to kill off the original protagonist, Princess Arabelle, and Heather is forced to assume the role. Aided by a wise old wizard (naturally), a stocky “Kiblar” elf with a pack full of delicious cookies, a libidinous talking squirrel and others, the pair traverse the Caves of Terror, the Lake of Woe and like locales on the way to various nail-chipping adventures—encountering along the way a wide array of foes, some gnarly, others totally hot. In the end the day is (literally) saved, Heather turns out to be brighter than she initially seems and the two part friends. Solidly entertaining, the outing is laced with teenspeak and common fantasy tropes but not played entirely for cheap laughs. (Fantasy. 11-13)