FOR THE LOVE OF MEN

Journalist and video blogger Plank's spirited first book addresses the problems men face in trying to live up to outmoded concepts of masculinity.

While the author considers in passing the effects of what she calls “toxic masculinity” on women who often experience its unfortunate side effects, her main emphasis is on the men whose lives it damages. Writing in staccato bursts and frequently citing experts she has interviewed as well as written sources, Plank makes the case that what we consider masculine traits are socially determined rather than innate and that men at this point in time may be more limited by gender expectations than women are. “We updated what it means to be a woman, but we didn't update what it meant to be a man,” she writes. For example, she suggests, women are beginning to feel free to express anger, while men are less apt to express fear or sadness. Women can comfortably wear the kind of clothing traditionally reserved for men, while men don't have the luxury of wearing women's clothing without comment. At the heart of the male dilemma, writes the author, is the “male shame spiral” in which men feel guilty about not being able to live up to the traditional macho ideal and then feel increasingly ashamed because they have to hide their feelings. Plank intersperses her longer chapters with short sections she labels “amuse-bouche,” most of which introduce men who are defying conventional definitions of masculinity. At times, she can be glib and given to metaphors that try to be folksy. “Freedom is like pancakes at IHOP: you can't run out,” she writes. While persuading the target male audience to read the book may be a challenge, those who take the leap will find plenty to think about.

A canny appeal to the self-interest of men in reforming gender roles.