MONKEY WRENCH

When her streetwalker sister Dawn is beaten to death in a London alley, Crystal naturally goes to her sometime companion Eva Wylie (Bucket Nut, 1993) for help—and takes half a dozen of Dawn's mates with her. It seems to make sense: Who more suitable than that notorious bad-girl wrestler, the London Lassassin, to coach the ladies on the finer points of self-defense? But it doesn't work out so neatly. A feud with pretty-boy California Carl has barred Eva from her gym, and the best she can do for a training space is the wrecking yard she patrols with her two attack dogs, Ramses and Lineker. In truth, though, she doesn't want to do the best she can, since running a self-defense program for a punch of prossies while one of them noses around into her sister's death is about as appealing to Eva as winning an easy match against Volga Olga, a not-ready-for-prime-time opponent who styles herself the baddest girl of the ring. Eva would rather get into a real scrap—against Olga, against Carl, against her promoter, Mr. Deeds, or her employer, Anna Lee, The Enemy—than fake a fight any day. And her second outing gives her every chance for a real scrap. Only problem: Eva can get so busy dispensing nostrums or running on about her pipe dreams that Cody (3rd Culprit, 1995, etc.) sometimes forgets to keep the pot boiling. As for Eva, though, may she live a hundred years—which still probably wouldn't bring her a story as prodigious as she is.