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Design My Life

Wit, a bit of romance, and a satisfying conclusion make for an often enjoyable read.

Drozdov offers a takedown of reality television in this debut novel about an assistant on a popular home-makeover program.

Jane Forte, a not-quite-middle-aged, divorced mother of a preteen daughter, has won first place on Decorating Challenge, a reality show airing on a major cable network that caters to the do-it-yourself lifestyle. Network superstar Sandy Lewis was one of the judges of the competition, and in a moment of exuberance, she promises to hire Jane as her design assistant on Design My Life, Sandy’s long-running decorating series. Jane, a little overweight and seriously insecure, timidly positions herself in the background, behind the cameras, as Sandy, the host, pretends to execute a variety of DIY projects that are actually put together by professional (albeit unpaid) construction crews. On-camera talent is chosen for looks, not creativity: “You have probably heard about television being only for Q-Tips—that is sticks with big heads,” Jane says. “It is true.” Ultimately, Jane, who handles everything from selecting homeowners to rounding up live turkeys to run through the set for a Thanksgiving shoot, will come out on top, although, naturally, it doesn’t turn out quite as she imagined. Drozdov has worked in the production of such lifestyle-television shows as the Canadian home-improvement series Holmes on Homes, so she’s well-versed in the mechanics and lingo of the industry. Her story offers an insider’s behind-the-scenes reveal of the nonstop chaos, acrimony, and chicanery that occurs during the production of a season’s worth of reality show episodes. “Spontaneous” conversations with homeowners are shown to be scripted, episode finales are filled with borrowed furniture, construction mistakes are covered over, and everything gets fixed in the editing room. The sharp, sometimes-scathing narrative flows energetically. Sometimes, though, the switches between multiple venues will blur readers’ sense of time. The text would also have benefited from a stronger copy edit to remove simple errors (“We need you do shoot a quick stand up”) and the occasionally inconsistent use of past or present tenses.

Wit, a bit of romance, and a satisfying conclusion make for an often enjoyable read.

Pub Date: Oct. 27, 2016

ISBN: 978-0-9952905-0-1

Page Count: 414

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: Dec. 2, 2016

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SUMMER ISLAND

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with...

Talk-show queen takes tumble as millions jeer.

Nora Bridges is a wildly popular radio spokesperson for family-first virtues, but her loyal listeners don't know that she walked out on her husband and teenaged daughters years ago and didn't look back. Now that a former lover has sold racy pix of naked Nora and horny himself to a national tabloid, her estranged daughter Ruby, an unsuccessful stand-up comic in Los Angeles, has been approached to pen a tell-all. Greedy for the fat fee she's been promised, Ruby agrees and heads for the San Juan Islands, eager to get reacquainted with the mom she plans to betray. Once in the family homestead, nasty Ruby alternately sulks and glares at her mother, who is temporarily wheelchair-bound as a result of a post-scandal car crash. Uncaring, Ruby begins writing her side of the story when she's not strolling on the beach with former sweetheart Dean Sloan, the son of wealthy socialites who basically ignored him and his gay brother Eric. Eric, now dying of cancer and also in a wheelchair, has returned to the island. This dismal threesome catch up on old times, recalling their childhood idylls on the island. After Ruby's perfect big sister Caroline shows up, there's another round of heartfelt talk. Nora gradually reveals the truth about her unloving husband and her late father's alcoholism, which led her to seek the approval of others at the cost of her own peace of mind. And so on. Ruby is aghast to discover that she doesn't know everything after all, but Dean offers her subdued comfort. Happy endings await almost everyone—except for readers of this nobly preachy snifflefest.

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with syrupy platitudes about life and love.

Pub Date: March 1, 2001

ISBN: 0-609-60737-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2001

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LAST ORDERS

Britisher Swift's sixth novel (Ever After, 1992 etc.) and fourth to appear here is a slow-to-start but then captivating tale of English working-class families in the four decades following WW II. When Jack Dodds dies suddenly of cancer after years of running a butcher shop in London, he leaves a strange request—namely, that his ashes be scattered off Margate pier into the sea. And who could better be suited to fulfill this wish than his three oldest drinking buddies—insurance man Ray, vegetable seller Lenny, and undertaker Vic, all of whom, like Jack himself, fought also as soldiers or sailors in the long-ago world war. Swift's narrative start, with its potential for the melodramatic, is developed instead with an economy, heart, and eye that release (through the characters' own voices, one after another) the story's humanity and depth instead of its schmaltz. The jokes may be weak and self- conscious when the three old friends meet at their local pub in the company of the urn holding Jack's ashes; but once the group gets on the road, in an expensive car driven by Jack's adoptive son, Vince, the story starts gradually to move forward, cohere, and deepen. The reader learns in time why it is that no wife comes along, why three marriages out of three broke apart, and why Vince always hated his stepfather Jack and still does—or so he thinks. There will be stories of innocent youth, suffering wives, early loves, lost daughters, secret affairs, and old antagonisms—including a fistfight over the dead on an English hilltop, and a strewing of Jack's ashes into roiling seawaves that will draw up feelings perhaps unexpectedly strong. Without affectation, Swift listens closely to the lives that are his subject and creates a songbook of voices part lyric, part epic, part working-class social realism—with, in all, the ring to it of the honest, human, and true.

Pub Date: April 5, 1996

ISBN: 0-679-41224-7

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 1996

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