AN INCONVENIENT WIDOW

A first lady’s struggles.

Political journalist Romano makes her book debut with a balanced portrait of Mary Todd Lincoln (1818-1882), whom she calls “the most misunderstood and tragic first lady in American history.” A familial legacy of mental illness, the death of her mother when she was 6, and possibly bipolar disorder caused Mary’s emotions to be volatile. “Losing her mother,” Romano writes, “seemed to freeze her childlike personality, triggering a pathologic need for recognition and attention to fill her emptiness, and an inability to modulate her emotions.” Born into Kentucky’s upper class, Mary Todd was 21 when she met the gangly, unsophisticated 30-year-old Abraham Lincoln. The course of their love did not run smoothly: A breakup, reconciliation, and a secret second courtship resulted in a quick marriage a month before her 24th birthday. Both were temperamental. “Mary was excitable and prone to panic attacks,” Romano reveals. Lincoln “could be distracted and brooding, rendering him absent emotionally even when he was home.” Nevertheless, Mary tried her best to be a strong helpmate, ambitious for his success and devoted to raising their growing family. Her impulsive, lavish shopping sprees, though, made her the subject of negative gossip, especially in light of the sacrifices entailed by the war. Romano sets Mary’s life in the context of tumultuous political upheaval and personal trauma, especially the death of two sons in childhood and one as a young adult. Her husband’s murder compounded her grief. She never endeared herself to Washington society and, after his assassination, was left in serious financial straits as she waited for his estate to be settled. Her erratic behavior led her surviving son to petition to have her declared insane. “Loss, betrayal, ill health, and financial stress” marked her last years.

A sensitive, well-researched life of a complicated woman.