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TAFOLLA TORO

THREE YEARS OF FEAR

A thoughtful, entertaining memoir of a troubled youth.

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Gomez (The Cilantro Diaries, 2017), chairman of Geekdom and co-founder of the 80/20 Foundation, reveals how anxiety shaped his early years in this wellness memoir.

The author grew up in San Antonio, where his parents made sure that he gained admittance to Tafolla Middle School, the “Harvard of Middle Schools.” In 1993, at the age of 12, he began sixth grade there in a state of fear that he couldn’t articulate to others: “I was so afraid and had so much anxiety during those three years of middle school that I completely blocked out my memories of that time,” he recalls. It was only years later, in therapy, that the author discovered the anxiety of his early adolescence was at the root of the addiction, anger, and depression that he experienced as an adult. This book is an attempt to recover and reconcile his middle school memories for his own edification and to help young teenagers who may be going through similar difficulties. The author describes living his life as one of seven children, dealing with local gang members, learning Latin in school (his mother wouldn’t let him take Spanish, as “she was told that if they didn’t speak English, the school would not accept” her kids), and listening to 1990s alternative rock. Every chapter ends with a letter from Gomez to his 12-year-old self, whom he refers to by his nickname, “Lench” (short for “Lorenzo”), and offering him advice he wishes that he’d heard at the time. Gomez is a fine storyteller, and his anecdotes are inflected with appealing humor; when his Spanish-speaking grandmother heard about his mother’s directive regarding Latin class, she quipped, “Who’s he going to speak Latin to? The Pope?” He’s also an adept communicator of emotion, which comes through most clearly in his “Lench” letters: “My point is that there is no ceremony when you graduate from a young person into being an adult. So consider this letter your Adultness Diploma.” Young readers who find themselves struggling with anxiety and older readers still sifting through the problems of their teenage years will find value in this openhearted work, which captures a specific time and place in vivid, neon colors.

A thoughtful, entertaining memoir of a troubled youth.

Pub Date: Sept. 20, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-5445-0517-6

Page Count: 200

Publisher: Geekdom Media

Review Posted Online: Nov. 4, 2019

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HOW NOT TO HATE YOUR HUSBAND AFTER KIDS

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after...

Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.

Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples’ therapy.

A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Pub Date: March 21, 2017

ISBN: 978-0-316-26710-6

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Little, Brown

Review Posted Online: Jan. 17, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2017

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DAD'S MAYBE BOOK

A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.

Ruminations and reminiscences of an author—now in his 70s—about fatherhood, writing, and death.

O’Brien (July, July, 2002, etc.), who achieved considerable literary fame with both Going After Cacciato (1978) and The Things They Carried (1990), returns with an eclectic assembly of pieces that grow increasingly valedictory as the idea of mortality creeps in. (The title comes from the author’s uncertainty about his ability to assemble these pieces in a single volume.) He begins and ends with a letter: The initial one is to his first son (from 2003); the terminal one, to his two sons, both of whom are now teens (the present). Throughout the book, there are a number of recurring sections: “Home School” (lessons for his sons to accomplish), “The Magic Show” (about his long interest in magic), and “Pride” (about his feelings for his sons’ accomplishments). O’Brien also writes often about his own father. One literary figure emerges as almost a member of the family: Ernest Hemingway. The author loves Hemingway’s work (except when he doesn’t) and often gives his sons some of Papa’s most celebrated stories to read and think and write about. Near the end is a kind of stand-alone essay about Hemingway’s writings about war and death, which O’Brien realizes is Hemingway’s real subject. Other celebrated literary figures pop up in the text, including Elizabeth Bishop, Andrew Marvell, George Orwell, and Flannery O’Connor. Although O’Brien’s strong anti-war feelings are prominent throughout, his principal interest is fatherhood—specifically, at becoming a father later in his life and realizing that he will miss so much of his sons’ lives. He includes touching and amusing stories about his toddler sons, about the sadness he felt when his older son became a teen and began to distance himself, and about his anguish when his sons failed at something.

A miscellany of paternal pride (and frustration) darkened by the author’s increasing realizations of his mortality.

Pub Date: Oct. 14, 2019

ISBN: 978-0-618-03970-8

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019

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