GARDEN OF GRIEF

A guide to understanding and navigating a way through grief that leads to renewed appreciation for the joys of the present.

Koidahl was the 37-year-old mother of two young boys when, in 2007, her mother was killed by a car running a red light. Mother and daughter had been especially close. Koidahl’s father died after a car accident before she was born, and she grew up a single child raised by a single parent. Incredibly, her mother’s brother, Rick, had also died in an automobile accident. But this, Koidahl explains, was the first time she knew grief as an adult, and it was an experience she describes as “soul-crushing.” The first weeks after the accident were busy, with Koidahl responsible for all those things that must be attended to after a death. “Getting stuff done” had always been within her comfort zone. When it came time for her to return to work, however, she decided she needed a reset. “I am not one to run or hide from my feelings,” she writes, “so I didn’t want to distract myself. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to heal.” She began journaling, committing to paper her feelings, activities, and observations. Years later, when she sat down to write this book, the journals provided insight into a personal grieving process that led her to reevaluate her life’s focus. Although her subject is painful, Koidahl writes with buoyancy and determination. It’s a quality not often found in books on mourning. She shares loving memories of her mother as well as the actions taken and lessons learned along the road to recovery: “I have become more intentional about my thoughts, how I spend my time, and what I put my attention to.” This is less a how-to manual than a compassionate expression of encouragement and advice to be open to life’s inevitable changes and surprises.

A pleasantly presented, supportive addition to the literature of bereavement.