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LOVE IS TOO HARD

THE DATING (MIS)ADVENTURES OF A MAN WITH AUTISM

Earnest and realistic romantic advice for readers on the autism spectrum.

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An autistic man shares dating lessons and advice.

In this often moving memoir and advice book, dedicated to his “soul mate,” debut author Scarantino shares his unique perspective as a person with a disability trying to find love. His frustration is palpable in the book’s touching, succinct introduction, in which he reflects on the time before he was in a steady relationship: “I look at guys everywhere with their girlfriends and wonder if that’ll ever be me,” he writes. Yet borne from his exasperation, loneliness, and trial-and-error searching came illumination on the do’s and don’ts of dating with autism. In straightforward, declarative text that’s devoid of decoration or extraneous exposition, the 20-something author combines stories of personal encounters with sage advice about dealing with shyness and depression, differentiating between flirting and platonic friendliness, managing others’ perceptions of autistic people, and understanding inappropriate behaviors and social cues. Scarantino admits that he made errors during his first relationship in college, which he says was hastily initiated: “I bought her some things that some boyfriends wouldn’t buy for their girlfriends right away,” he notes. He counsels readers seeking romance to look for someone who “will love you for you,” and he also talks about proactively managing one’s own hypersensitivity (or marked indifference) regarding sexual conversations or interpersonal contact. Overall, Scarantino bares his soul with integrity and humor throughout this book. Along the way, he encourages readers to approach dating, both online and in person, with careful confidence and to appreciate both good and bad experiences, as “You never know where they can lead you.” Although some of the commentary is repetitive, the author’s heartfelt guidance is consistently well-intentioned, and this book will make an essential addition to autism-related libraries.

Earnest and realistic romantic advice for readers on the autism spectrum.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-79544-021-9

Page Count: 116

Publisher: Time Tunnel Media

Review Posted Online: June 14, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2019

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IN MY PLACE

From the national correspondent for PBS's MacNeil-Lehrer Newshour: a moving memoir of her youth in the Deep South and her role in desegregating the Univ. of Georgia. The eldest daughter of an army chaplain, Hunter-Gault was born in what she calls the ``first of many places that I would call `my place' ''—the small village of Due West, tucked away in a remote little corner of South Carolina. While her father served in Korea, Hunter-Gault and her mother moved first to Covington, Georgia, and then to Atlanta. In ``L.A.'' (lovely Atlanta), surrounded by her loving family and a close-knit black community, the author enjoyed a happy childhood participating in activities at church and at school, where her intellectual and leadership abilities soon were noticed by both faculty and peers. In high school, Hunter-Gault found herself studying the ``comic-strip character Brenda Starr as I might have studied a journalism textbook, had there been one.'' Determined to be a journalist, she applied to several colleges—all outside of Georgia, for ``to discourage the possibility that a black student would even think of applying to one of those white schools, the state provided money for black students'' to study out of state. Accepted at Michigan's Wayne State, the author was encouraged by local civil-rights leaders to apply, along with another classmate, to the Univ. of Georgia as well. Her application became a test of changing racial attitudes, as well as of the growing strength of the civil-rights movement in the South, and Gault became a national figure as she braved an onslaught of hostilities and harassment to become the first black woman to attend the university. A remarkably generous, fair-minded account of overcoming some of the biggest, and most intractable, obstacles ever deployed by southern racists. (Photographs—not seen.)

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 1992

ISBN: 0-374-17563-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 1992

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A LITTLE HISTORY OF POETRY

Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

A light-speed tour of (mostly) Western poetry, from the 4,000-year-old Gilgamesh to the work of Australian poet Les Murray, who died in 2019.

In the latest entry in the publisher’s Little Histories series, Carey, an emeritus professor at Oxford whose books include What Good Are the Arts? and The Unexpected Professor: An Oxford Life in Books, offers a quick definition of poetry—“relates to language as music relates to noise. It is language made special”—before diving in to poetry’s vast history. In most chapters, the author deals with only a few writers, but as the narrative progresses, he finds himself forced to deal with far more than a handful. In his chapter on 20th-century political poets, for example, he talks about 14 writers in seven pages. Carey displays a determination to inform us about who the best poets were—and what their best poems were. The word “greatest” appears continually; Chaucer was “the greatest medieval English poet,” and Langston Hughes was “the greatest male poet” of the Harlem Renaissance. For readers who need a refresher—or suggestions for the nightstand—Carey provides the best-known names and the most celebrated poems, including Paradise Lost (about which the author has written extensively), “Kubla Khan,” “Ozymandias,” “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” Wordsworth and Coleridge’s Lyrical Ballads, which “changed the course of English poetry.” Carey explains some poetic technique (Hopkins’ “sprung rhythm”) and pauses occasionally to provide autobiographical tidbits—e.g., John Masefield, who wrote the famous “Sea Fever,” “hated the sea.” We learn, as well, about the sexuality of some poets (Auden was bisexual), and, especially later on, Carey discusses the demons that drove some of them, Robert Lowell and Sylvia Plath among them. Refreshingly, he includes many women in the volume—all the way back to Sappho—and has especially kind words for Marianne Moore and Elizabeth Bishop, who share a chapter.

Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

Pub Date: April 21, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-300-23222-6

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Yale Univ.

Review Posted Online: Feb. 8, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2020

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