CAPTAIN BEASTLIE'S PIRATE PARTY

’Tis a bonny disgusting birthday celebration, it is!

There must be something particularly enticing to children about the average pirate’s lack of basic hygiene. How else to account for all the books containing rotten, stinky sailors? And none, let it be known, is any rottener or stinkier than Capt. Beastlie. When he’s not flicking boogers the size of cabbages or rubbing buttered toast on his already jammy jacket, the captain is counting down the days until his birthday. In the background, his remarkably clean and attentive crew is busy making preparations for the big day. When it comes, the captain is surprised to learn that before he can start celebrating, he must submit to a big bubbly bath and a combing. And his gift? A brand-new, clean-as-a-whistle pirate suit and hat. All ends well. That is, until a giant glob of frosting lands on his impeccable attire….If grown-ups can stomach the gross-out factor, there’s a lot to enjoy in Coats’ sea-worthy language (“Scupper me sardines!”) and funny story. Mould’s acrylic art makes for a clever complement, racking up the ewws but never going too far. The book is beautifully (read: disgustingly) detailed on every page.

If you’re going to select only one revolting, repulsive pirate book, this is arrrr-guably the best.