LEARNING TO LEAVE: A Woman's Guide

Mainly for zealous feminists: how to proceed once you've made the decision to divorce your husband--with legal and financial lowdown, and much tactical counsel. Triere, who claims to have made every possible mistake in getting her own divorce, has since advised and interviewed numerous others so-situated. The essential question in deciding whether to go or stay, she maintains, is not whether you love your husband but whether ""you love him in such a way that you want to live with him every day."" Though a period of indecisiveness--lasting up to five years--is seen as something of a necessary evil, we are expected to let go of the guilt, fear, etc., once we've made the decision, and plan a ""strategy"" to lead us into our new life. Keep your decision a secret from your husband for months, or longer, as you establish a credit rating in your own name; get the facts about child support and alimony (the latter, now rarely granted--and even more rarely collected); put away money--from the grocery shopping, if necessary--for use in getting your own lawyer; etc. Legal issues are reduced to eleven ""most asked"" questions: who should hold on to the house as the divorce is being arranged; what is no-fault divorce; whether a cash settlement is better than monthly payments; and so on. Some tips on choosing a lawyer and getting the most out of mediation are also included. A separate chapter bemoans the effects of stress, poor diet, and lack of proper exercise on the divorcee (and advocates masturbation for interim sexual release). How to break the news (to the children, too) is the final consideration. Some old-fashioned scheming in an up-to-date guise.