I DON'T WANT YOU TO REGRET ANYTHING

In her debut memoir, Letts navigates the devastating aftermath of the death of her boyfriend.

When the author was a 21-year-old junior at the University of Georgia, she attended a party. She scanned the room and noticed a young man she had never seen before. Their eyes met. He introduced himself and she felt an instant connection to him. But later that night, a friend told her, “That’s Knox. He had to take time off from school last semester. He has brain cancer.” This was not a deal breaker for Letts, who told friends, “I think it would be nice to be with someone who’s gone through something so intense. A boy who actually understands the fragility of life. The value of every day.” The author begins her memoir on the day he died (which, coincidentally, is the birthday of Dalton, her beloved cousin, who died of a fentanyl overdose—the book is dedicated to Knox and Dalton), then toggles between periods of her life before Knox and after. There are countless memoirs dealing with the death of a loved one: Laurie Kilmartin’s Dead People Suck goes at this immense subject with jet-black jokes; Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died comes to terms with a lifelong abusive parent. What distinguishes Letts’ memoir is her earnestness: “I want to share this. I want people to feel what I feel. I want them to know what I know,” she proclaims. She is unsparingly open and vulnerable, to the point that there are times the reader almost feels like an intruder, as when Letts is invited into Knox’s hospital room to say her goodbye: “I waved at him and he puckered his lips and blew me a kiss. I knew then that he was still Knox.”

An unabashed account that may provide those dealing with personal loss comfort and catharsis.